Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Emotional Rollercoaster

*Please excuse the random things I'm about to say...*

Dear YOU,

Today was our last fight.
No, I am not psychic but I assure you, it is indeed the last fight. At least I really want it to be. We haven't even been an item in years, yet we fight like a married couple. Foolishness right?

I can no longer deal with this 'regular girl' treatment you give me because I should be more than that to you. Look at what you've already put me through all these years... When will enough be enough? I really don't ask for much besides respect and consideration yet, those are two things you don't have for me.

I love you.
I miss you everyday.
You hurt me repeatedly but I choose to stay.
Obviously, I've been traumatized. I'm more loyal to you than you deserve.
Countless sleepless nights.... Tear-soaked pillows... Lonely days... I'm so tired!

I believe that when you love someone with your whole heart, nothing changes that feeling. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! I am consistent, I have proven my dedication and I have been here for you even when you're not there for me.

I never asked for the world... I only asked for love.

*Sigh* As much as I adore the good side of US, I can no longer stand the bad. It hurts. It's not fair to me, none of this is. I don't think you'll ever see how good you have it with me....

All these years later and I STILL get those butterflies around you. All these tears later and I still think the world of you. Doesn't that count for anything? It probably doesn't mean anything and maybe that's a sign to let go and really move on. I need to get off this ride before I completely die emotionally... But how? Can't you see how you affect me? Don't you care?

........ UGH!! Why is the simplest thing for you to understand about how I feel, the hardest for you to make better?

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