What's on my mind....

UNTITLED

I continue to make promises I know damn well my ass can't keep
To get over you
To leave you alone
To give myself time to heal and grow
But the thought your touch makes me weak

I become this teary eyed fool
Who longs for late mornings and long showers with you.
I slip back into the place where nothing else matters
But the time you set aside to lay with me
I know I deserve much more
More then those few in between moments
But I settle
Because I adore you
I don't want to but I do

We do this dance religiously:
We fight
There's space
I miss you, so I call
You're in a good mood so you invite me over at night fall

We laugh
We reminisce
You start the movie
I undress & we kiss

We cuddle
We embrace
You do that thing I love
& put a smile on my face

I quiver
You smile
& I pretend your mine for a little while

Then two days later, reality sets in
& you have me feeling like I'm living in sin
Like loving you was the worst choice in life
But I still have dreams of one day being your wife

I curse myself for not being as strong as I use to be
Curse myself for letting you treat me so terribly
Curse myself for not knowing how to say no
Hate myself for not letting you go

You anger me to no end
So inconsideratre, it's sad but true
My life has changed so drastically since you've been in it
But against my better judgement
I feel it's too hard to live without you...